ifindkarma. elegance is refusal.

November 23, 2011

Love more, fear less.

“There is no future. There is no past. Do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.”
~ Watchmen

“I will do today what you won’t, so tomorrow I can do what you can’t.”
~ Anonymous

“I do not much care for that man… I must get to know him better.”
Abraham Lincoln

“If there is no enemy on the inside, the enemy on the outside can do us no harm.”
~ African Proverb

“Our greatest problems often yield our greatest breakthroughs… fierce frustration is a precondition for a tremendous triumph.”
~ @CoryBooker


Recently I added favorites among Convos containing quotes…

Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion. ~ Muhammed Ali

If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea. ~ Antoine de Saint Exupéry

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want. ~ Randy Pausch

There are no shortcuts. NONE. ~ Mark Cuban

Do something so hard you become great in the process. ~ xkcd

Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to move in the opposite direction. ~ Albert Einstein

If everything seems under control, you’re just not going fast enough. ~ Mario Andretti

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

One’s destination is never a place, but rather a new way of looking at things. ~ Henry Miller

Creativity is just connecting things. ~ Steve Jobs

During my 18 years I came to bat almost 10,000 times. I struck out about 1700 times and walked maybe 1800 times. You figure a ballplayer will average about 500 at bats a season. That means I played seven years without ever hitting the ball. ~ Mickey Mantle

I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life, and that’s why I succeed. ~ Michael Jordan

I’ve seen each of these quotes many times in my life, but I keep coming back to them.

Sometimes it takes me a while to visuali
 what I’m seeing.

Risk more than others think is safe. 
Care more than others think is wise. 
Dream more than others think is practical. 
Expect more than others think is possible. 
~ Claude Bissell via Lili Balfour via John Hagel

Teach compassion…”If you see someone who is struggling to make friends or being bullied because they don’t have friends or because they are shy or not as good looking or not dressed in the best clothes PLEASE step up. Say hi or at least smile at them in the hallway. You never know what that person might be facing outside of school. Your kindness might just make a BIG difference in someone’s life! Pass this on and share with your kids!”

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”
~ Gandhi

Love is where compassion prevails and kindness rules.

“What is hard is being good every day.”
 ~ Willie Mays 


Sing with Brian Wilson!!!

Sing with Stephen Hawking!!!

‎”If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.”
~ Dalai Lama

 “Let your life be a testimony to your truth. Every day be an uncompromisingly true witness to your authentic self. The world needs no more dull carbon copies, folks shrinking from their truth. One stubborn soul, ignited from within, despite the crushing darkness of circumstance, can illuminate the world. We must illuminate the world. We must be brilliant.”
~ @CoryBooker (via @LiliBalfour)

“The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.”
~ Muhammad Ali 

~ Steve Jobs 

August 12, 2011

Be who you are, as hard as you can.

Once upon a time, I said, Be here now.

And then I restedinterconnected.

And I said, Be excellent.



And then I read,

You is kind, you is smart, you is important.

Somewhere in there, rakeshlobster tweeted

Great career advice from @sv_troutgirl to @joshelman:
Be who you are, as hard as you can.

So I tweeted

I believe “Be who you are, as hard as you can” originated from @naval.

And Rocky thanked Naval and so did Josh

That was the most meaningful advice I’ve had in a long time.

So I tweeted

Be who you are, as hard as you can” is so easy to say and so hard to do. It takes courage.

And Naval reminded me

Easiest when you are cast out and have no choice.

The key word in everything I’ve said till now: COURAGE.

It takes courage to grow up 
and become who you really are.
      ~ e.e. cummings

See, there’s always a tension between being and becoming.

We’re wetware on all fours, searching profoundly for four11‘s.

Once you are who you are, as hard as you can, you can focus on learning more and continually improve yourself.

How can you continually improve yourself?

Bakadesuyo highlights his most interesting research:

July 12, 2011

It goes to 11.

Somewhere, something incredible 
is waiting to be known.
      ~ Carl Sagan

Carve out one minute of your day for mindfulness.
Turn off the Internet and turn on the Innernet.
Every night as you fall asleep, plant a seed in your mind.
Every morning when you wake, take a minute to meditate.
It makes a world of difference.
     ~ Lili Balfour

Today I saw that a friend lost a baby unicorn.

And I realized, everybody hurts and everybody struggles sometimes.

We’ve been struggling at 106 Miles to create a charity event for the Nerd New Year (11/11/11) as we moved the event from Fox Theatre in Redwood City to the Redwood City Courthouse Square, and now (hopefully) to Broadway in Redwood City between the Caltrain and El Camino Real for a street party. See: NerdNewYear.com

Sometimes I ask myself, why even try do it?

Not because of synchronicity. That seems too far out to me.

And not just because it goes to 11, though that does help.


I’ve been excited about 11/11/11 ever since January 11.

Truth is, everywhere I go this year, I see elevens.

11s have no meaning except as a personal wake up call.

A wake up call to do something meaningful.

I hope on 11/11/11 to raise awareness for 11 causes.

In their honor, here’s a list of my favorite eleven lists.

8. Eleven Facts About Pandas (and then some!)

6. Eleven Inspirational Quotes (my favorite is the one from Albert Einstein, “I once thought that if I could ask God one question, I would ask how the universe began, because once I knew that, all the rest is simply equations. But as I got older I became less concerned with how the universe began. Rather, I would want to know why He started the universe. For once I knew that answer, then I would know the purpose of my own life.”)

All of those elevens really do wake me up.

We don’t know what will make us happy, but we think we do.

Life ebbs and flows. Physically, mentally, emotionally.

Life has many chapters, if you allow them to open.

Meaning is not something you stumble across. You have to build meaning into your life… And you build meaning into your life by the commitments that you make.

Commitments beyond yourself.

When we’re young, we search for identity: “Who am I?

Your identity, actually, is what you’ve committed yourself to:

We close with a short story passed to me by Shuqiao, whose song is the Dalai Lamas “My religion is very simple; my religion is kindness” as she shares “The Egg” by Andy Weir

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered, you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point mincing words.

“There was a… A truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

u looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you God?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died, and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Some vague authority figure. More of a grammar school teacher than the Almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly reliveved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right.”

“All the religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strolled in the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just dont remember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic then you can possible imagine.

A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold.
You put a tiny part or yourself into the vessel, and when u bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been a human for the last 34 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for longer, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. And into lots of different lives,” I said. “This time around you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 A.D.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”

“Where you come from?” You pondered.

“Oh sure!” I explained. “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there’s others like me. I know you’ll want to know what its like there but you honestly wont understand.”

“Oh.” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, could I have interacted with myself at some point?”

“Sure. Happens all the time. and with both lives only aware of their own timespan you dont even know its happening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? Your asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well its a reasonable question,” you persisted.

I looked in your eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”

“No. just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature, and become a larger and greater intellect.

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you, and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”

All you. Different incarnations of you.

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human who ever lived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John wilkes Booth, too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” you said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions he killed.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followed him.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “You were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

“Why?” You asked me. “why do all this?”

“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa.” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said. “Its just…”

“An egg of sorts.” I answered. “Now its time for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way…

May 6, 2011

Whatever you can do, or dream you can begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , — ifindkarma @ 6:11 am

Apparently that line is not from Goethe.

We shipped the pre-alpha (alphalpha?) of PandaWhale on Cinco de Mayo 2011.

Our alphalpha is at 106miles.net so startup folks can have conversations.

Every week we simplify and improve PandaWhale for 106miles.net …

For now, we need more time. And more pandas

February 12, 2011

PandaWhale — Frequently Asked Questions

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , — ifindkarma @ 7:11 am
Somewhere, something incredible 
is waiting to be known.
      ~ Carl Sagan

Since being named Fortune’s Best Networker, I’ve been barraged with questions about PandaWhale.

I realize that the PandaWhale Posterous does not say much yet, because we’re heads-down developing software.

So let’s start at the very beginning: 

Next, here are answers to 11 Frequently Asked Questions.


1. When was PandaWhale, Inc., incorporated?

Joyce Park and I incorporated PandaWhale on 1/11/11.

We picked that date because it’s binary and because everything in PandaWhale goes to 11.

She’s mirthful like that. Doesn’t she look mirthful?


2. What is PandaWhale’s mission?

3. How will you expand the Web through social sharing?

PandaWhale is starting by building the website 106miles.net to organize the public conversations among the members of 106 Miles.

4. What is 106 Miles?

106 Miles is a networking group that started in January 2005 but has exploded since we changed to a meetup format in August 2010.

As of right now, we are 1100 technical startup people in Silicon Valley that have conversations over cocktails twice a month.

The mission of 106 Miles is to educate and empower entrepreneurial engineers.

PandaWhale serves the mission of 106 Miles by developing the software to organize our online conversations.

5. What’s a panda?

The term comes from a Posterous post I wrote in July 2010 called Pandas and Lobsters.

Pandas are Internet users who are self-interested foragers, spending their time searching and consuming.

We are developing PandaWhale to be loved by pandas. PandaWhale’s conversations will be searchable, lurkable, and transactable.


6. What’s a whale?

The term comes from a Posterous post I wrote in August 2010 called Whales and Lobsters.

Whales are the biggest Internet users. Whales have many followers and are always wanting more!

We are developing PandaWhale to be loved by whales like me and Scoble and Ben Parr.


7. Are Twitter and Facebook compatible with PandaWhale?


PandaWhale conversations will connect with Twitter conversations around interests, bringing more value to all.

And PandaWhale conversations will connect with Facebook conversations around people, bringing more engagement to all.

8. What does “Save the Pandas, Save the Whales, Save the Web” mean?

In December 2010 I said that Facebook is shrinking the Web.

1 in 4 Web pages in the U.S. are now viewed inside Facebook.

At PandaWhale we love HTTP and trust HTTP.

So we believe the creator of the Web Tim Berners-Lee, who wrote Long Live the Web in Scientific American.

TimBL says that the time to Save the Web is now.

We are ready to do our part.

9. How will PandaWhale help to Save the Web?

Public conversations are the key to expanding the Web.

We believe this after many conversations with John Battelle about the Twitters and the Facebooks and the YouTubes and the Blogs and the conversational marketing movement, which gets me bloviating until you tl;dr… So don’t get me started.

Let’s just say that social media has had a great start.

We want it to go to 11.

10. Who funded PandaWhale?

As of right now, Joyce Park and I are funding PandaWhale ourselves.

Until someone wants to invest $11 million dollars. 😉

 11. What date should I save for a PandaWhale party?

Save Friday 11/11/11 for a party for 1111 of our friends. Still figuring out the details!

Like all things PandaWhale, it will go to 11


And on that note, we go back to developing

January 14, 2011

Social Networking Venn Diagram. 2011 update!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , — ifindkarma @ 12:01 am
In the last few weeks Quora came alive and MySpace is dead…
So we’re upgrading our DespairWear for the new year!

Social Networking in 2011 is neither social nor networking. Discuss.

Props to Christian Bale for illustrating the new social order:
Facebook = Narcissism x Stalking
Quora = Narcissism x OCD
Foursquare = Stalking x OCD
…and Twitter is the one ring to rule them all.

    It matters not if you’re a panda or a whale.

    This is the state-of-the-art in social networking right now:

    Facebook forces me to bring all of my friends and interests with me wherever I Connect, like Yoda riding my back telling me what to do, grammarlessly and ceaselessly.

    Twitter has no memory and as a result is useless if I want to have an actual conversation. The community and content have nowhere to continually improve but elsewhere, so Twitter will always exist as exhaust.

    Zynga is the Chuck E. Cheese’s of the Internet: I buy phony currency with real money to play games I won’t care about in a year to earn tickets redeemable for stuff that does not move my life forward or contribute to my genuine happiness.

    Foursquare and Quora combined have fewer than 10 million users. Compared with the size of the Web, that rounds to zero.

    The world can do better.

    The future of social networking is waiting to be invented.

    In Kushinagar the trees lower their blossoms on the Buddha’s death bed.

    His last works at the age of eighty are:

    Carl Sagan once said,

    Somewhere, something incredible
    is waiting to be known.

    Social networking, we’re ready for a change.

    Bring it.


    September 2, 2010

    Searching YouTube from Android is like chugging an Ipecac Colada.

    Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , — ifindkarma @ 5:12 pm

    I currently wield an Evo, which is widely considered a great Android smartphone.

    I'd LIKE to listen to "Fuck You" by Cee Lo Green??on my Evo so I pull up YouTube (which is owned by Google) on my Android (which is owned by Google) and do a Search (which is owned by Google).

    And YouTube Android Search completely and utterly fails to find the song or video. Instead it gives me a lot of spam and a lot of junk that is not what I'm searching for.

    So I'm going to have to embed the video below if I ever want to find it to play it on my mobile device in the future. This isn't??bad luck; this is FAIL.

    Once more, with feeling: if searching Twitter is like drinking an ipecac martini, then searching YouTube from a mobile device is worse:

    Searching YouTube from Android is like chugging an Ipecac Colada.

    So without further ado, here's "Fuck You"…

    And did I mention he released a second version?

    And perhaps someday I'd like to play the 50 Cent freestyle

    In any case, one thing is clear:

    It's much easier to search my Posterous than YouTube or Twitter. Especially on a mobile device.

    So in the future if I know I will want to find something on my iPad or other mobile device, I'm Posterous-ing it. Even if the content itself says, "Fuck You"…

    And although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best, as I type in this Posterous from Gmail (which is owned by Google) from Chrome (which is owned by Google). Maybe I should let go and distract myself with a Game??and a deep, cleansing??breath??to move my mind to a kinder, gentler place where everybody is "Kung Fu Fighting"

    Yes, that feels better. I'm connected to the now.

    I close with a reading from The Book of Yishan, who says, "?????????: ???????????????!??It's like this y'all:"

    This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill
    Fifteen percent concentrated power of will.

    Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain

    And a hundred percent reason to remember the name.

    Well said, sir. Well said. I ❤ my excellent attitude. Peace.

    July 17, 2010

    Cell 13 and The Thinking Machine.

    To whoever finds this,

    I am writing this on toilet paper from a dungeon that I’m guessing is located in Google’s nether regions.

    The sign on the door says “Cell 13“.

    All I’ve had to eat the past few days were a couple of bamboo shoots and leaves accompanied by a lovingly handwritten note inscribed, “Who’s the master baiter now, Lobster Boy?”

    “Lobster Boy”?! Is my semblance to a panda not obvious??

    How did I get here? Last thing I remember was emailing Pandas and Lobsters to Posterous 96 hours ago, then leaving the SayNow office with my intrepid sidekick Troutgirl. Next thing I knew, I was dragged off the street with a bag over my head as I yelled, “Help me, intrepid sidekick Troutgirl!” She angrily rifled back, “Who are you calling sidekick?! YOU are MY sidekick…” as I got pushed into a van and carried away…

    And now I wonder. Was it my message — that Google applications are for people who want to hit-it-and-quit-it, but social applications are for people who’d rather stay-and-play — that landed me in incarceration? Or did I offend them with style, not substance?

    In any case, here I sit in a dark prison cell. On one wall is Orkut, hanging in shackles.

    Also sitting in the dungeon is the Old Spice Guy, Isaiah Mustafa. I guess that’s how they got him to do all those videos for YouTube this week. If they can get him to make one for every person on Facebook — what’s that, just 500 million more videos? — perhaps they can build a compelling social network out of nothing but sweat, tears, and Old Spice…

    In a comfy chair in the middle of the dungeon, Paul Adams furiously scribbles notes whenever I talk with Orkut or Isaiah. Orkut hasn’t said a thing to me, and frankly I’m intimidated by Isaiah. I offered him some of my bamboo but apparently he won’t eat carbs.

    Paul won’t talk with me directly. He’s shy. I keep telling him to read jwz’s “Groupware Bad” rant but all he does is scribble it down in his notebook. Since he’s writing anyway, I make sure to speak in lots of metaphors and new-age speak, like these words of Stephen Covey: “We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey.” Whenever I say something like that he looks at me like a side dish he didn’t order.

    Since he’s writing furiously, I try to talk more slowly. “Do you think Google has become much too insular? When muskoxen feel threatened, they face outward in a ring. Google is a circle of yaks, facing inward. Which is understandable, given the $30 billion pile of gold buried beneath the campus, which itself explains why rainbows always end at the Googleplex. No rainbow can compare with the dozen years Google has spent developing The Thinking Machine, which is why Google believes nothing is impossible when you apply Google’s Glorious Hive Mind to it. Not even… social applications!” He raises an eyebrow.

    I go on. “You could ask The Thinking Machine anything in the world. Why is the sky blue? What is the twelfth dimension that Foursquare has somehow magically tapped into? Wtf is a Quora, and why should Google care?? What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything???” He raises the other eyebrow.

    I go on. “I’m guessing you care about social networks because they are drawing the attention of advertisers. Seven years ago Google was processing 200 million searches a day, but now Twitter is processing 800 million searches a day on less money than Google spends on food (and fewer total employees than Google hired last month!). Since April, Facebook has jumped from 100 million mobile users to 150 million mobile users, led by Xoogler Erick Tseng…”

    This finally incents Paul to speak. “You know we put a microchip implant in all Xooglers before they leave so we can track their progress in the wild…” And then he stops himself because he knows that I can do the math that on the Facebook side, Sheryl, Elliott, and Bret & Paul are Xooglers, and on the Twitter side, so are Ev, Biz, Dick, and Jason. I chuckle to myself thinking that Dennis might have hatched his Foursquare scheme while sitting in this very prison cell.

    I goad Paul, “This is good, Paul. Let it out. I know you want the answer to something, so let me anticipate that and tell you that whales are the answer.”

    This is more than he can stand. He screams at me, “You speak only in maddening metaphors!!! Well you’re a prisoner, and WHERE ARE YOUR WEAK LINKS NOW??? And by the way, we’re working on an algorithm to crack your metaphorical codes, so don’t be too smug… We do, after all, have The Thinking Machine.”

    At that moment, who should peer at me from a dark corner that I thought was unoccupied? None other than the very first Facebook friend himself, Mark Zuckerberg.

    “Google wants to be my friend,” says Mark. I give an astonished look to Paul.

    Paul admits, “We actually perfected the Zuckerbot last year. No one inside Facebook actually knows that it’s not the real Mark running their company anymore.”

    That wipes the smile off my face, so I try to reason with Paul to let Mark go. “Look, I know that Google is worried because Facebook is shrinking the good part of the Web. But you’re going about this all wrong. Instead of taking a defensive posture like muskoxen, or trying to make bad Facebook copies like Buzz, you should give up on lobster traps and put your faith in the strengths of the Web itself.

    I don’t think Paul was listening to me because at this point he’s writing furiously… “Google — and everyone else — needs to stop letting Facebook set the terms of social, because social has never actually been about the power of STRONG ties, nor about a FIXED identity. One of the reasons Buzz tweaks people out so badly is that they attached it to the very very most fixed part of your online identity, which is your actual email account. The number of non-Googlers I know who use Buzz rounds to zero.”

    Paul’s hand was cramping but I can’t stop yakking…

    “Paul, I know you’re biased against Facebook. About the anecdote that begins your 200+ slide deck… There’s a woman with some homosexual friends in LA, and she comments on their pictures in the bars they go to together. Meanwhile, she’s teaching 10-year-olds how to swim. And the 10-year-olds somehow have access to her Facebook account. But she doesn’t realize until she’s talking with the anthropologist that the 10-year-olds who shouldn’t be using Facebook can see the comments she made on the pictures of her friends at the gay clubs.


    “Skeptic Geek looks at those 200 slides and concludes, If Google Me were indeed under development, looks like it will be a network designed for close ties — family and close friends — which is how Facebook initially started.


    It is SUCH a misconception that Facebook initially started for family and close friends.


    It started for schoolmates to MEET each other. LITERALLY THE FACE BOOK: 

    • Cute girl or dude in my dorm, who are you?
    • Who has notes to that math class I slept thru?
    • I’m selling a futon on campus, who wants it?
    • I wanna join the college glee club; who else is in it?

    “It was all about people in that magical liminal moment of American life: the first year of college. Where you could change your identity in a summer. Go from Kitty to Karen, trade your MG for a white Chrysler LeBaron….

    “I remember reading something about Soledad O’Brien… She’s from Long Island. Last day of high school, she’s a cheerleader rocking massive feathered hair. By the third day of college, she’s calling herself Soledad and has stick-straight hair and no makeup.

    “When Facebook was cool, it was all about establishing your public identity, without anyone from your past to set it in stone.

    “Now you gotta be the same you whose cheeks were pinched by your aunt when you were 6 and chubby. You gotta haul around all those “friends” from junior high who saw you with zits and glasses, and braces on your teeth. You gotta live with the legacy of your Young Republicans phase or your Social Democrats phase or your French existentialist phase, or your drunk slut phase…”

    I was rolling. “The best Web applications became big because the earliest adopters embraced them passionately. Like Danny DeVito’s penguins-with-bombs in Batman Returns, the earliest adopters are an army of penguins who like to declare, fuck off bear cavalry!




    I continued. “The army-of-penguins love to put a Web application through stress tests, and make sure it’s ready to be spread. One of the differences between a startup and a big company is that a startup has the luxury of being cool at first. NOT having to design for the entire world on day one. Getting to revel in the penguins-with-bombs phase. And then the millionth user phase. And then the 10 millionth user phase. The better Google apps had that kind of rollout… Gmail, Reader. Mind you, Reader has never, ever gotten anyone laid. So you can’t use it as a model. Instead, repeat after me: USER GOOD.”

    I was ready to finish. “Google — and everyone else — needs to stop letting Facebook set the terms of social applications, because social has never actually been about the power of STRONG ties, nor about a FIXED identity. Look to the WEAK TIES. Look to IDENTITIES IN CONTEXT.
    There’s still so much to be done in helping people meet, have conversations, and hook up. You can do it!!! You do, after all, have The Thinking Machine…

    And with that, Paul tidied up his notes and left the dungeon, and I haven’t seen him since. Mark is taking a power nap, Isaiah is getting his beauty rest, and Orkut still hasn’t said anything. So I’m sending out this beacon.

    And so, I tie this note around a rat’s neck so that when it escapes to freedom, it will bring my message to someone who can kiss my Posterous…


    P.S. — Pandas poop 40 times a day, and I’m all out of toilet paper… 

    July 13, 2010

    Pandas and Lobsters: Why Google Cannot Build Social Applications…

    After researching what pandas do all day, I was struck by how panda-like we are when we use the Internet.

    Roaming a massive world wide web of forests, most of our time is spent searching for delicious bamboo and consuming it. 40 times a day we’ll poop something out — an email, a text message, a status update, maybe even a blog post — and then go back to searching-and-consuming.

    For a decade, Google has trained us to optimize our pandic selves:

    The kind of application that Google knows how to make well are the kind that embody a panda’s “eats, shoots, and leaves” model of Internet behavior. Pandas spend every waking hour foraging — aka searching — and consuming. The most successful Google applications serve such a utilitarian mandate, too: they encourage users to search for something, consume, and move onto the next thing. Get in, do your business, get out. Do a Google search, slurp down information, move on. Pull up Google maps or Gmail or Google news, do something, leave. Where Google does not excel is in making applications that are by their nature for lingering and luxuriating — the so-called social applications.

    What’s the main difference between successful Google applications (search, maps, news, email) and a successful social applications? With Google applications we return to the app to do something specific and then go on to something else, whereas great social applications are designed to lure us back and make us never want to leave.

    Consider this example: Google Answers focused on answers and failed; Yahoo! Answers focused on social and succeeded. The primary purpose of a social application is connecting with others, seeing what they’re up to, and maybe even having some small, fun interactions that though not utilitarian are entertaining and help us connect with our own humanity. Google apps are for working and getting things done; social apps are for interacting and having fun.

    Put another way, Google designing social apps is like Microsoft designing iPod packaging.

    Now, consider the Four Horsemen of Hotness in 2010: Facebook, Quora, Foursquare, and Twitter. Think deeply about why none of these four could have been developed inside Google.

    Facebook is a lobster trap and your friends are the bait. On social networks we are all lobsters, and lobsters just wanna have fun. Every time a friend shares a status, a link, a like, a comment, or a photo, Facebook has more bait to lure me back. Facebook is literally filled with master baiters: Whenever I return to Facebook I am barraged with information about many friends, to encourage me to stick around and click around. Every time I react with a like or comment, or put a piece of content in, I’m serving as Facebook bait myself. Facebook keeps our friends as hostages, so although we can check out of Hotel Facebook any time we like, we can never leave. So we linger. And we lurk. And we luxuriate. The illogical extreme of content-as-bait are the Facebook games where the content is virtual bullshit. Social apps are lobster traps; Google apps do not bait users with their friends.

    Quora is restaurant that serves huge quantities of bacn and toast. Quora is a dozen people running dozens of experiments in how to optimally use bacn to get people to return to Quora, and how to use toast to keep them there. Bacn is email you want but not right now, and Quora has 40 flavors of it that you can order. Quora’s main use of Bacn is to sizzle with something delicious (a new answer to a question you follow, a new Facebook friend has been caught in the Quora lobster trap, etc.) to entice you to come back to Quora. Then, once you’re there, the toast starts popping. Quora shifts the content to things you care about and hides things you don’t care about in real-time, and subtly pops up notifications while you’re playing, to entice you to keep sticking around and clicking around. Some toast is so subtle it doesn’t even look like a pop-up notification — it just looks like a link embedded in the page with some breadcrumbs that appear in real-time to take you to some place on Quora it knows you’ll find irresistible. For every user’s action, bacn’s and toast’s fly out to others in search of reactions. (Aside: if I were Twitter, I would be worried. Real-time user interfaces are more addictive than pseudo-real-time interfaces; what if Quora took all of its technology and decided to use it to build a better Twitter?) Social apps are action-reaction interaction loops; Google apps are designed just for action.

    Foursquare exists in a dozen dimensions. That statement is ridiculous on its surface; after all, even String Theory has only 11 dimensions. (Technically, it’s 10 dimensions, beca
    use they start numbering at zero.) Whatever higher-than-the-highest reality Foursquare thinks it’s building, one thing is clear: this company is more about chemistry than physics. Foursquare has studied the works of David A. Kessler, who studied hyper-palatable foods that had various combinations of salts, fats, and sugars that stimulate the diner’s brain to crave more, rather than satisfy their hunger. The more a person uses Foursquare, the more a person wants to use Foursquare: the points are salts, the badges are fats, and sweet sweet mayorships are sugars that we fight over like we’re
     Sneetches. Ok, so Foursquare’s leadership thinks they’re only 10% of the way there — I guess they have 11 other combinations of salts, fats, and sugars to perfect so that all we do all day, every day, is check into Foursquare. Social apps offer a steady diet of junk food to keep us addicted; Google apps offer mostly bamboo.

    Twitter is a giant blue ball machine. Even the New York Times says not enough people understand what the heck Twitter is, for them to be willing to use the word tweet in polite company. But that doesn’t stop lots of people from using Twitter. Perhaps they are enamored by a word that sounds ornithological in nature. I tried to explain it to my brother like this: tweets are little blue balls, and they get bounced around by a giant machine so others can enjoy them. Those people can react by copying the balls (retweets), swinging at the balls (at-replies), or beaning the originator in the head (direct messages). There are also lots of whales on Twitter — celebrity whales to attract us, and fail whales to repel us. As opposed to Facebook, which hates whales because whales distract the lobsters from the traps. At this point, my brother gives me a blank stare and says he’s going back to Facebook. Which goes to show that a social app doesn’t need lobster traps, bacn and toast, or 12 dimensions to be successful; it just needs balls. Social apps are whimsical and fun; Google apps are whittled and functional.

    So why can’t Google build social apps? Because Google’s core values (“be useful”, “do good by users”) reject the very notion of lobster traps, bacn and toast, a dozen dimensions of junk food, and giant blue ball machines. Understanding those concepts is not easy. It takes lots of practice, and lots of patience, and lots of learning.

    2010’s leadership of Facebook, Foursquare, and Twitter struggled for YEARS learning from FriendFeed, Dodgeball, and Odeo, respectively. The main mythical man month mega mantra — “build one to throw away” — isn’t just a clever way to gracefully fail on the first iteration; it’s the way we learn. I believe those collective experiences have given them the humility to know that most things don’t work; the confidence to know that simplicity is more important than features; and the stamina to see their visions through the good, the bad, and the ugly that accompany startups.

    Does Google have the patience to launch social apps that aren’t widely used so they can learn from them? Not Lively.

    Does Google have the ability to launch social apps that aren’t utilitarian? Repeat after me: “A Buzz is a high-frequency Wave.” And neither pandas nor lobsters know what those are, other than wacky experiments gone awry.

    Has Google’s culture-of-facts ever learned from Orkut? Good question for the triumvirate. A humbler panda than me once tweeted:

    So, to summarize: Google is responsible for Orkut, Wave, and Buzz. Ex-Googlers are responsible for Facebook, Foursquare, and Twitter. Discuss.

    Ok, I’ll discuss. I have three main points:
    1. Google cannot hire a Head of Social because no individual can change Google’s DNA of building applications for pandas, not lobsters. Googlers who wanted to develop great social applications had to leave Google to do so.
    2. Google cannot buy Twitter or LinkedIn or Quora (or all three!) because Google’s culture has no respect for successful social applications. YouTube’s office is still far from the Google campus to avoid the toxic attitude described by a former Orkut employee, “[Google has] an environment that viewed social networking as a frivolous form of entertainment rather than a real utility, and I’m pretty sure this viewpoint was shared all the way up the chain of command to the founders.
    3. Google cannot focus group its way to successful social applications. Henry Ford opined, If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.
    And three reasons why Google should be concerned:
    1. Facebook serves 3 billion LIKE buttons a day, serves one-sixth of all U.S. ads, has more traffic than Google or the next 99 sites combined, has 100 million mobile users and five times as many web users, and when it launches a Facebook search engine, it will be the second biggest search engine in the world right out of the gate.
    2. Twitter’s search engine is bigger than Bing and Yahoo combined. Not only is Twitter doing 800 million searches a day, but apparently they’re the fastest growing search engine in the U.S.
    3. Bing actually seems to have a better relationship with Facebook and Twitter, and in addition, Bing has gone out of its way to partner with Amazon as well as Apple and its soon-to-be-100-million iPhone OS devices.
    So… Now would be a good time for a bold move from Google. YouTube is the only social application Google has ever bought that was and remains #1 in its category. What can we learn from that?
    1. Google FAILED going head-to-head against YouTube. Buying YouTube in retrospect was a great idea, and keeping YouTube separate from Google HQ was a great idea.
    2. Google FAILED in acquiring and integrating other social products. Blogger, Picasa, JotSpot, Dodgeball, Jaiku. None are their category leaders now. Some are dead. Why?
    3. Google FAILED to create Google Contacts that are easy to edit and integrated with Facebook and Twitter. Why then should we believe Google can do something simple, entertaining,  and interesting with Google Profiles?
    Google is filled with adrenaline now that Facebook and Twitter are juggernauts in social advertising and searching. Google is ready to fight, but social applications are about loving not fighting. Google is from Mars, and social applications are from Venus. Anyone know someone who can build a rocket ship so Google can ride to the world of social applications?

    My advice for Google’s Trinity is to put on your thinking caps about social apps. Think really carefully about what you need, and why. Look to the glorious words of jwz:

    “Social software” is about making it easy for people to do other things that make them happy: meeting, communicating, and hooking up.

    And for all us lobsters, I just have one thing to say: “Yeah, you’re all gonna be okay.

    July 9, 2010

    What do pandas do all day?

    Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , — ifindkarma @ 1:58 am



    Pandas are a mystery of nature. If whales are the answer, then pandas are the question.

    What is a giant panda a/k/a “panda”?
    A panda is someone who eats, shoots, and leaves. And occasionally makes you laugh.

    Aren’t pandas inefficient, piebald buffoons who are an evolutionary dead end?
    Yes. That is why there are fewer than 3000 (fewer than 1600?) in the world.

    Then how are pandas not extinct yet?
    Pandas are beloved, because they are ridiculously, scientifically cute. They aren’t just adorable freaky bears that bark in the bamboo forest. Their entire evolutionary strategy (by intelligent design!) was to sit on their thumbs and wait around until there were humans to love them and be responsible for them despite all of their inefficiencies and mysteries.

    So how do pandas live their whole lives?
    royrod: “You know how sometimes you walk into a room and go… now why did I come in here? That’s how [pandas] live their whole lives.”

    Seriously, what do pandas do all day?
    Pandas spend 16+ hours a day foraging for food, eating, and crapping. Much like CEOs.

    How often do pandas crap?
    40 times a day. Hence the phrase, “Does a panda crap in the bamboo forest?” Shoots and leaves — aka “25 flavors of bamboo” — go right through their digestive systems and turn into little pellets. Luckily panda poop smells like tea.

    Should we be worried about all those panda droppings?
    When life hands you panda poop, make tea. Or paper. Or greeting cards. Maybe fridge magnets.

    Are pandas carnivorous?
    Fun fact: “Pandas are technically carnivores, but they have adapted to live mostly on bamboo. They will eat small mammals if they can catch them, though!”

    Do pandas really “eat shoots and leaves”?
    I love this description: “They spend at least 12 hours each day eating bamboo. Because bamboo is so low in nutrients, pandas eat as much as 84 pounds (38 kilograms) of it each day. Pandas grasp bamboo stalks [including bamboo shoots!] with their five fingers and a special wristbone, then use their teeth to peel off the tough outer layers to reveal the soft inner tissue. Strong jaw bones and cheek muscles help pandas crush and chew the thick stalks with their flattened back teeth. Bamboo leaves are also on the menu, as pandas strip them off the stalks, wad them up, and swallow them.”

    What do pandas eat?
    Sweet, sweet bamboo forms 99% of a panda’s diet. In captivity they’re known to get excited by oatmeal, cookies, and fruitsicles.

    What eats pandas?
    Pandas have no predators. Except humans. Sick humans. On the other hand, I gotta admit that panda cake does look very sweet.

    What is a negative panda?
    Pandas have bad luck. When a panda is struck by lightning, its black fur becomes white and its white fur black. Pandologists refer to such pandas as negative pandas.

    Can you hug pandas?
    Only on vacation. People think pandas are cute, and therefore they hug, but in reality, pandas are bears, and bears maul.

    Where do pandas like to vacation?
    There is a group of pandas in San Diego; see the pandacam.

    What is a group of pandas called?
    A group of bears is referred to as a sloth or sleuth. What’s the difference? A sloth of pandas are lazy but a sleuth of pandas are clever. No fingerprints? Elementary, my dear Watson, elementary.

    What is a male panda called?
    A male panda is called a boar. Because male pandas are boarish and moody by nature.

    What sounds do pandas make?
    Pandas bleat, bark, and whimper, like a lamb or a goat kid. Pandas also huff and growl, but don’t roar.

    What noises do pandas make?
    They have up to 12 ways of expressing themselves vocally. Including youtubian crunching and sneezing.

    How do pandas fight?
    Mostly lazy forward rolls. They do NOT know Kung Fu. Nor can they really dance.

    How do pandas get around?
    By Fiat. Seriously, pandas spend “16 hours a day eating, eight hours a day sleeping, and almost zero hours moving…” It’s an amazing life. Like a dream.

    Are pandas good leaders?
    Obey Butterstick. Use this FAQ to heed his pandic visage with pandavision.

    Any relationship to polar bears?
    None we’re willing to admit.

    Does a solitary lifestyle make for sad panda?
    None we’re willing to admit.

    What is Flickr’s obsession with pandas that puke rainbows?
    It is the stuff that nightmares are made of. Google it.

    What do frequently asked questions about pandas have to do with Flickr and Google?

    How are successful Google applications designed for pandas?

    The kind of application that Google knows how to make well are the kind that embody the “eats, shoots, and leaves” model of Internet behavior. Pandas spend every waking hour foraging — aka searching — and consuming. The most successful Google applications serve such a utilitarian mandate, too: they encourage users to search for something, consume, and move onto the next thing. Get in, do your business, get out. Do a Google search, slurp down information, move on. Pull up Google maps or Gmail or Google news, do something, leave. Where Google does not excel is in making applications that are by their nature for lingering and luxuriating — the so-called social applications. But that is fodder for another post.

    June 23, 2010

    Eleven Essential Reflections On Happiness…



    That may have been the sweetest ending of a World Cup game I have ever watched.

    You can watch the highlights on your favorite Interweb site, but they won’t really give you the feeling of 90 minutes of tense, do-or-die buildup , culminating in a super charged score in the final minute that propelled Team USA from elimination into first place in their group!

    ****** I am “Snoopy Dance happy” !!! ******

    But I realize this is a temporary happiness that comes from adrenaline and other juices pumping through my headmeats. Soon that rush will subside, and I will go back to reflecting my baseline happiness.

    Simply put, happiness is the way.

    And happiness comes from within.

    Which brings us back to one of the main characteristics that defines being and becoming and the gap in between them: HAPPINESS.

    Note that we are not talking about absence of pain; we’re talking presence of happiness.

    A hundred days ago I created this ifindkarma posterous because bakadesuyo inspired me with his. I love to read what he writes, and in particular I love when he reflects about subjects such as happiness.

    If I had to distill all of bakadesuyo’s happiness musings into essential reflections, here are the key takeaways I’ve internalized… so far

    10. Happiness is increased by how much you make and lowered by how much you want.
    9. Happiness is a feedback loop, not just internally but also through others.
    8. So be careful who you choose as spouse, friends, and neighbors.
    7. Relative wealth is more important than actual wealth when it comes to how happy you are.
    6. Giving makes us happier than receiving. Outcomes trump incomes in making us happy.
    5. Happy people tend to love their jobs; jobs do not, by themselves, make people happy.
    4. We’re bad at realizing how good we are at adapting to circumstances.
    3. When distilled to its essence, happiness is a simple process.
    2. To be happy, focus on what you have, and not on what you don’t.
    1. There are still many unanswered questions when it comes to happiness.

    Which brings me back to me. If I had to distill all of my happiness musings into eleven essential reflections, here are the key takeaways I’ve externalized… so far

    11. Read these musings, especially the one you’re reading right now. Reflect! Repeat!!! 🙂
    10. There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.
    9. People are very bad at predicting what will make them happy.
    8. Our attitudes produce our luck.
    7. Most success comes from being present.
    6. Reflection helps us be here now.
    5. There are shortcuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them.
    4. There are shortcuts to happiness, and breathing is one of them.
    3. Happiness is interconnected to all things.
    2. Happiness comes from what we want to include, not from what we want to avoid.
    1. When it comes to happiness, lessons are repeated until they are learned.

    And if all else fails, take a step back, breathe, think about a kitten wearing a tiny hat eating a tiny ice cream cone, and regroup. For tomorrow is another day, and we cannot waste today’s time cluttering up tomorrow’s opportunities with yesterday’s troubles.

    Kitten. Tiny hat. Tiny ice cream cone. NOW!!!

    Raindrops on roses and tiny hats on kittens aside, I want to take a moment or two to thank Jennifer Aaker and Gretchen Rubin and Tony Hsieh and Niki Leondakis and Caterina Fake for driving me to keep reflecting on happiness as I walk the earth. The tension between being and becoming has become more than an avocation for me… it’s something I’d love to work into my vocation, someday, someway. It is love incarnate.

    Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

    To empower other people to find their own happiness, to me, is tantamount to enabling the childhood dreams of others.

    There is no greater job than enabling the childhood dreams of others.

    Read. Reflect. Repeat.

    We conclude this tapestry with a trinity of TED talks that reflect on happiness: Tony Robbins on why we do what we do (emotion!) and how we can do it better (focus!); Barry Schwartz on the paradox of choice; and Dan Gilbert on why we are or are not happy:

    (Cc: @Bakadesuyo @Aaker @GretchenRubin @Zappos @Niki_Leondakis @Caterina) 🙂 🙂 🙂

    June 18, 2010

    Why being a Facebook whale is an EPIC FAIL.

    Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , — ifindkarma @ 6:49 pm

    I love Facebook, but Facebook does not love me. Why? Because I am a Facebook whale. Allow me to explain…

    A whale is someone who’s big.??(In??Ocean’s 13, for example,??the whale owned the air south of Beijing. Social gaming companies love whales.)



    On Facebook a whale is someone with 5000 “friends”, more or less. (A “Facebook friend” is a member of one’s “social graph“, and I traced the origin of the use of the word “whale” to refer to a heavy user of a social network back to??Friendster??in 2003-2004. I’m guessing “Facebook whale” came from former Friendster employee Nick Heyman when he moved to Facebook in 2005. By??2007,??Scoble??and??The Guardian??were talking publically about Facebook whales.)


    So… why does Facebook want to beach its whales?

    In Facebook parlance: it’s complicated.

    Facebook does not allow its whales to have more than 5000 friends. For years Facebook has said??they want whales to have Facebook pages instead, because Facebook pages make them money. (For what it’s worth, I still think Facebook pages are ridiculous.)
    In any given day, a whale will lose several friends due to people quitting Facebook and people “unfriending” them, because Facebook users value “friends” less than a Whopper. Also, Facebook’s databases don’t stay synchronized so as a result if you keep reloading a whale’s page you’ll see different friend counts. This is how whales sometimes slip over 5000 friends occasionally.
    Once a whale hits 5000 “friends”, Facebook won’t let the whale add more friends until the whale loses some friends. Nonetheless, it is straightforward for anyone who so desires to become a Facebook whale. The more ambitious among us can do it??in a week.
    Facebook hates its whales. I’m not sure why. Possible explanations: whales stress Facebook’s technical architecture, whales detract from Facebook’s belief that you should only friend your friends, and whales cost Facebook a lot of money to serve because their demands are greater.

    How do I know Facebook hates its whales? From talking with other whales. Sometimes Facebook randomly??accuses whales of being robots, and sometimes Facebook randomly disables accounts of whales, which is why??the 5000-friend limit causes anxiety??among whales.
    Nonetheless, it is likely??the 5000-friend limit has ripple effects.
    The benefit of being a Facebook whale is that whales always have someone interesting to talk with on Facebook. Since most of Facebook activity is about commenting on walls, links, and photos, the whales get the most serendipity when it comes to receiving feedback.
    The benefit to Facebook from having whales is that most Facebook activity involves a whale initiating, participating in, or spreading conversations on walls, links, and photos.
    However, there are many problems that come with being a Facebook whale. From my extensive use of Facebook on Chrome, Safari, IE, and Firefox, and via text messaging, as well as on iPhone, Android, and iPad, over many years, here are the top ten reasons by being a Facebook whale is an EPIC FAIL:
    10. Facebook does not stop people from sending me requests to be their friend, even though Facebook prevents me from accepting their request to be a friend.??What. The. Fuck???? In this way, the Facebook service embarrasses me many times a day, every day, because I have no good way to tell people that Facebook won’t let me be a friend. Rule number 1 of a social network: do not embarrass your users regularly. FAIL, Facebook, FAIL.
    9. Facebook does not let me “like” Facebook pages anymore because they’ve co-mingled the “social graph” and the “open graph”. So whenever I try to “like” a Facebook page, I get the message that I cannot “like” that thing because I have too many connections. In what social model does the number of “friends” one has limit the number of things one can “like”? Isn’t Facebook incentivized to collect “like” information from me, so they can make money selling me other things I might “like”? In short: Facebook is both hurting themselves because they cannot monetize me as well as they should, and also embarrassing me every day because Facebook forbids me from “liking” the good and good food??and??wonderful art and good food and??good wonderfully artistic food??of my friends! FAIL.
    8. Facebook has no migration path from profiles to pages.??How about a button I can press that automatically turns my Facebook profile into a Facebook page so I can take my friends with me? How about giving me all the functionality in my Facebook page that I enjoy in my Facebook profile? And while I’m ranting about this, let me add that it’s embarrassing to tell people they can’t “friend” me, they can only “like” me. FAIL.
    7. Facebook inbox rarely loads.??Maybe one in 10 times. I have to look in my gmail for Facebook messages, and usually I need to reply by email or text message, not Facebook. FAIL.
    6. Facebook iPhone app rarely loads.??It crashes often, hangs often, and photo uploading fails at least 80% of the time. This is one of the top reasons I ditched my iPhone??for an EVO. FAIL.
    5. Facebook invite widget crashes the browser. Which means I can no longer invite people to any Facebook events I set up. I have tested this with Chrome, Safari, Internet Explorer, and Firefox — on Windows and Mac, on desktops and laptops and iPads. FAIL.
    4. Facebook events page rarely loads and the Facebook requests page rarely loads. As a result, I cannot see events I’m invited to, and I can’t see any requests from friends from applications, and I can’t see the add requests from new people. FAIL.
    3. Facebook’s text message interface regularly delivers responses to the wrong thread or wrong person, and sometimes delivers private messages to public places. Once again this embarrasses the living daylights out of me. Imagine my horror when the text message I sent in response to one status “Work that booty, George!!!” went to a friend who is a woman who is devoutly religious! Not to mention I have to explain to her who George is. Or explain to Catherine why a message to Heather ended up as a response to her thread. “Why are you calling me Heather???” I didn’t; I just texted a response, and Facebook delivered it improperly. Let me repeat that in capital letters. FACEBOOK DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A MESSAGING SYSTEM THAT DELIVERS THE MESSAGE TO THE PERSON I INTENDED. IN 2010.??This texting snafu yesterday was a personal disaster: Private messages went public, and public messages went to the wrong people. And so yesterday I gave up. I stopped using the text message interface. And I’m really, really embarrassed by the whole situation, thereby violating rule number 1 of a social network. FAIL.
    2. It is impossible to keep track of the Facebook conversations I’ve participated in. I comment on a wall post, a link, or a photo, and then I have to pray that “Facebook notifications” tells me when someone has responded to it. Really? REALLY?? No. More often than not, the communication gets dropped in mid-conversation. Or I can sign up to get an email for every response. My “facebook” folder in gmail now has 24,000 unread messages in a year. TWENTY FOUR THOUSAND. Would a conversation console that is not just a lossy notifications panel really be a difficult thing to create, Facebook? FAIL.
    1.??Interesting conversations get buried.??If interesting conversations are impossible to keep track of and hard to find, Facebook remains??a superficial annoyance rather than a place for meaningful interactions that deepen the relationships we have with people we care about. And yet, because Facebook likes diluting its streams,??threads always get pushed down to the point where we can’t find them. Try to find a Facebook conversation you had 6 months ago. You can’t. I believe Facebook learned this bad behavior from Twitter, where any??gem??will also get quickly??buried. Searching Facebook for past conversations is like drinking the ipecac martini that is Twitter search. EPIC FAIL.
    I point out these ten items not out of hate, but out of love. I love Facebook, and I want to use Facebook more. I wish Facebook would love its whales, instead of making being a Facebook whale equate with EPIC FAIL.
    This post was humbly written by a panda and a whaleme.
    Will this post make a difference???We’ll see.
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